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Grumpy Old Monkthology

by Funky Young Monks

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1.
2.
I must have been crazy like some doggone fool To ever expect the lies you told were true Sick and tired of being one of the plans you laid Love for you was just a tool you used to get your way I’m not your man on a chain Can’t be your man on a chain Had enough of playing your game Won’t be your man on a chain Watching you go on down town dressed up like you do How could I ever think that I meant a thing to you What you need is some stick in the mud who ain’t got the nerve To tell you where to stick your rules, ‘coz baby that’s what you deserve I’m not your man on a chain Can’t be your man on a chain Had enough of playing your game Won’t be your man on a chain no more. BRIDGE/SOLO (Hubie Wang: lead guitar) I’m not your man on a chain Can’t be your man on a chain Had enough of playing your game Won’t be your man on a chain
3.
A smile always comes to my face When I think about your sweet embrace Feelings of warmth and love running through me The times that I spent you with you alone And all of the good times that we have known You’ve given me memories I’ll cherish forever Because when my whole world turns blue You know that I turn right to you I know you’ll be there true The way that I need you I know you’ll always be Deep down inside of me Standing where I can see The strength in your blue eyes SOLO (Steve Nathan: Hammond, Tim Pierce: guitar) Now I just sit and I stare Since I woke up and you weren’t there All I’ve got left is the scent of your hair on my pillow And deep in my soul there’s an ache That I feel when I sleep and when I’m awake All I can do girl is pray that you know Just why I did the things I did Because when my whole world turned blue You know that I turned right to you I knew you’d be there true The way that I needed you I know you’ll always be Deep down inside of me Right where I need you, baby I miss your blue eyes
4.
There’s a black dirty mess On my girlfriend’s new dress And a circle hole burned clean through to my chest I’ve gotta confess I’m getting a little depressed And I wish I could give this fixation a rest. Mmm-hmmm… Two packs a day Wanna get it down to Two packs a day My lungs would be much lighter My future’d be much brighter If I could get it down to two packs a day I’ve gotta quit ‘em, Lawd I’ve tried My lungs – completely fried My heated breath smells like I just committed suicide There’s butts all over the floor My lips are getting sore And worst of all: when I’m done here I gotta go get some more. Oooooh… Two packs a day Wanna get it down to Two packs a day My scent would be much cleaner My sense of taste much keener If I could get it down to two packs a day SOLOS (including a really cool scat by Jeff Hofferman) I gotta get out of this grayness Get on back in the pink Before my wallet and my body’s broke Now you might think all this trouble’s gonna drive me to drink But smoking only drives you to choke Now if the white collars would Legislate like they should You know they’d make this stuff illegal, then I’d kick this thing for good But my fingers start to itch, my tongue starts to twitch That nicotine’s a sad one, Lawd it turns into a bad one. Two packs a day Wanna get it down to Two packs a day Raise myself above the shabbies Never fear that case of crabbies If I could get it down to two packs You know I just got to get it down to two packs I just gotta get it down to two packs a day
5.
It was a big big boat Nowadays that boat don’t even float But “Mon Capitaine” ain’t ‘round here no mo’ He’s living across the sea He got de savage tan He smokes de world class ganja, man Even though I can’t be with him He’ll always be with me ‘Coz when I’m rockin’ wid de Woogman And it’s all I wanna know when I wanna go where I wanna be When I’m rockin’ wid de Woogman It’s all I can do to keep my sanity His island paradise Will make you feeeeel sooooo nice And he plays his skunkin’ music in the lap of luxury He got de stereo He never turn that thing down low On the day you wanna find me You know where I’m gonna be ‘Coz when I’m rockin’ wid de Woogman And it’s all I wanna know when I wanna go where I wanna be When I’m rockin’ wid de Woogman It’s all I can do to keep my sanity
6.
Syzygy 01:43
7.
It is what it is ‘til it isn’t, then it ain’t It is what it is ‘til it isn’t , then it ain’t YOU could be a sinner YOU could be a saint Still It is what it is ‘til it isn’t… …then it ain’t Sexy Suzie set about seducing randy Andy Her hair trés chic – as always, dressed to kill Flame flickering in a corner of her eye, a smile playing on her lips At the ease with which she bent him to her will… …for the thrill…. She was the poison in his mind, the poison in his soul The poison of desire made him lose control The poison his blood, the poison in his heart The poison of desire made him fall apart Carefully posed, little Stevie proposed to tickle sweet Rosie’s upturned nose If she’d agree to spend the night in his arms Allaying her fears he whispered in her ear as he fed her beer after beer after beer Methodically disconnecting al her alarms… …with his charms… He was the poison in her mind, the poison in her soul The poison of desire made her lose control The poison her blood, the poison in her heart The poison of desire made her fall apart It is what it is…is what it is ‘til it isn’t It is what it is…is what is it ‘til it isn’t It is what it is ‘til it isn’t, then it ain’t It is what it is ‘til it isn’t, then it ain’t YOU could be a sinner YOU could be a saint Still It is what it is ‘til it isn’t… …then it ain’t SOLO (Tim Pierce: guitar…in one take!) It’s a fact that you can’t look back But the one thing you can do is change this, Jack More than once in a while the fact is you just don’t care So roll with it friend, gonna getcha in the end But the one thing you just can’t do is pretend That the poison can’t get you unless you believe it’s there… …in the air… It’s the poison in your mind, the poison in your soul The poison of desire makes you lose control The poison your blood, the poison in your heart The poison of desire makes you fall apart The poison… It is what it is ‘til it isn’t, then it ain’t It is what it is ‘til it isn’t, then it ain’t I said YOU could be a sinner YOU could be a saint Still It is what it is ‘til it isn’t… …then it ain’t
8.
Chiquita was much too bright To be overlooked that night I was just hooked on sight, right in the groove The Keeper said, “Watch out, Jack! Once you go, you won’t come back. When morning comes you’ll be too numb to move” And I said: ain’t nobody knows for sure Hey now, who you tryin’ to kid? Any nobody knows for sure And what if they did? Polluted by just a taste All my background gone to waste Tore up and forced to face my own mediocrity Careenin’ I would not fall Kept myself at bay ‘n all Talked around it sooooo conveniently ‘Coz there ain’t nobody knows for sure Hey now, who you tryin’ to kid? Any nobody knows for sure And what if they did? SOLO (Stan Cotey: guitar) Considering all the time spent playing it back in my mind Sho ‘nuff I crossed that line, finding her to blame Not all of the dots connect, but somehow I do suspect I’d have ended up here just the same But there ain’t nobody knows for sure Hey now, who you tryin’ to kid? Any nobody knows for sure And what if they did?
9.
I accidentally bumped into a crazy little man downtown one day He hadn’t bathed in weeks, his eyes both pointed different ways I said to him, “Excuse me man - I didn’t see you there” He just reached up, and grabbed me by my hair…. …pulled me close and said: Night is right for things you wouldn’t do by day So ignore the light, wait for the sun to go away You’ll find the height of delight will be coming down your way ‘Coz night is right! That’s what I say… Just a little bit later on that same day I saw Miss Wanda passing by So I went running after her so I could tell her about this guy But I couldn’t make Miss Wanda care about the man I’d met that day …that is…until I told her what he’d had to say: Night is right for things you wouldn’t do by day So ignore the light, wait for the sun to go away You’ll find the height of delight will be coming down your way ‘Coz night is right! That’s what they say… Night is right for things you wouldn’t do by day So ignore the light, wait for the sun to go away You’ll find the height of delight will be coming down your way “Coz night is right! That’s what they say… ….right.
10.
Wrap It Up 06:14
Four feet tapping ‘cross an ice cold floor Rushin’ on out the back door Clean sheets every other day Cigarette butts in the ash tray Don’t try to tell me, girl ‘coz I really don’t wanna know Wrap, wrap, wrap it up Wrap it up so you can’t see through Wrap, wrap, wrap it up Wrap it like the doctor do I heard you got it on the radio From a bass guitar player way down low Hit me where I couldn’t back away Pack rat that I am these days Don’t try to tell me, girl ‘coz I really don’t wanna know Wrap, wrap, wrap it up Wrap it up so you can’t see through Wrap, wrap, wrap it up Wrap it like the doctor do SOLOS (Dave Kempers: violin, Jeff Lorber: electric piano) Hot lunch pot luck, EZ meat Gets so hot I stick to my seat Four feet between the head and the door Staggering back for more...yeah... Don’t try to tell me, girl ‘coz I really don’t wanna know Wrap, wrap, wrap it up Wrap it up so you can’t see through Wrap, wrap, wrap it up Wrap it like the doctor do SOLOS (Dave Kempers: violin, Carlo Mezzanotte: synth)

about

This project began as an experiment with home recording gear back in 1984. Armed with only a Fostex 8 track ¼” reel to reel recorder with matching mixer, a Shure SM58 mic, Yamaha CP30 electric piano and Mini Moog, TR808 drum machine, an old P-bass and a megaphone, we wrote and recorded four songs, three of which (new improved versions, of course!) are on this record. We then produced a bunch of demo cassettes and a promo package, and sent them to every record label and radio station we could think of. One of the many rejection letters we got back is still in the FYM archives…

We are exceptionally grateful to the plethora of extraordinarily talented musicians who were kind enough to contribute their time and energy to helping us bring this music into the 21st century. What a tremendously fun experience it’s been remaking these tunes with these fabulous folks using somewhat better instruments and recording equipment than we had back in ‘84 on the 3rd floor of that building on Orchard Road in Brookline, Mass.

credits

released September 1, 2021

BALTHAZAR'S DREAM • (Bryce)
An instrumental electro-prog extravaganza with just a hint of psychedelia. It even has a Monk chant...and yes - that opening "vocal" solo is a synth. Roland Jupiter-8, if you must know...
• David Bryce - keys
• Zak Claxton – guitars
• Nick D'Virgilio - drums
• Don Schiff - N/S stick
Mixed by David Bryce


MAN ON A CHAIN • (Scheer/Bryce)
This way upbeat dance-pop track with more than a little ‘80s vibe was originally written and recorded many years ago after hours at Daddy's Junky Music Store in Boston. Good times....
• David Bryce – keys, rhythm and lap steel guitars, drums, backing vox
• Ed Scheer – lead and backing vox
• Don Schiff - N/S stick
• Hubie Wang – lead guitar
• Ed Wynne – all saxes
Mixed by David Bryce


YOUR BLUE EYES • (Bryce)
A gorgeous old school soul ballad with a heavy "Muscle Shoals" vibe. Stellar vocals, ridiculously talented guest musicians...and a spectacular arrangement by Nashville legend Steve "The Prez" Nathan!!!!
• Matt Bissonette – bass
• John Ferraro – drums
• Sue Lowery - backing vox
• Steve Nathan - keys
• Tim Pierce - guitars
• William Russ, Jr – lead and backing vox
Mixed by David Bryce


TWO PACKS A DAY (SMOKER’S BLUES) • (Bryce/Scheer)
Even monks get the blues! A nasty little love song for the tobacco industry. Cheshire Trout in da house…
• David Bryce – keys, vox fx
• Jeff Hofferman – lead vox
• Richard Ruse - bass
• Ed Scheer - drums
• Pandora Spocks - guitar, harp
Mixed by David Bryce


ROCKIN' WID DE WOOGMAN • (Bryce/Scheer)
Short power rock tune. Lotta keys - multiple synth solos - and a bridge that almost certainly wouldn't exist without the not-so-subtle influence of Radar Love.
• David Bryce - keys. loops
• John Cross – lead and backing vox
• John Ferraro - drums
• Michele Rubin - backing vocals
• Ed Scheer vox fx
• Don Schiff - bass
• Hubie Wang - guitars
Mixed by David Bryce


SYZYGY • (Bryce)
Old school really cool synthesizer sounds for days. We even tracked this one to 2” tape for that authentic 70s sound!
• David Bryce - synths, electronic drums and drum programming
Mixed by David Bryce and Frank Rosato at Woodcliff Studios


THE POISON OF DESIRE • (Bryce/Maldonado)
This started as a grumbly little bass synth lick written one morning back in 1985 by our friend Mick. Brother Dave fell in love with the groove and wrote this song, adding the lyrics while driving in a truck to work a gig for Miles Davis in Minneapolis.
• David Bryce - keys, vocals
• John Ferraro - drums
• Tim Pierce - guitars
• Don Schiff – bass
Mixed by Justin Peacock with David Bryce


THE GROOVE (CHIQUITA!) • (Scheer/Bryce)
A really catchy track with an infectious shuffle beat guaranteed to take up residence in your skull and make you wanna shake your hips.
• David Bryce - keys, loops, percussion
• Stan Cotey – guitars
• Ed Scheer - vocals and drums
• Don Schiff - N/S Stick
Mixed by David Bryce (special thanks to Brian Charles at Zippah Recording)


NIGHT IS RIGHT • (Bryce)
A nasty little power prog-flavored instrumental with an obviously Zappa influenced vocal. This one gets a bit out of hand here and there.
• David Bryce – keys, rhythm guitar, lead and backing vox
• Rhonda Bryce – fx vox
• Nick D'Virgilio – drums
• Stu Kimball – guitars
• Ed Scheer - backing vox
• Don Schiff – N/S Stick bass
Mixed by David Bryce


WRAP IT UP • (Scheer/Bryce)
This electro-funk tune was originally the "big finish" to the first FYM demo from 1984. It’s been significantly upgraded with much better sounds, deeper production and some unreal players.
• David Bryce - keys, vocal fx
• David Kempers – violin solos
• Jeff Lorber - EP solo
• Carlo Mezzanotte – end synth solo
• Ed Scheer - drums, vocals
• Don Schiff – bass
• Hubie Wang – guitars
Mixed by David Bryce


All songs produced by David Bryce
Mastering By Steph Marsh/Marsh Mastering
Artwork and album layout by Judy Dombrowski


FYM would like to thank our families and friends for all of their love and support!

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Funky Young Monks Thousand Oaks, California

Funky Young Monks is a collaborative bi-coastal studio project infusing classic rock/blues roots with modern pop sensibilites...and, of course, a healthy dose of funk. Founding members David (Brother dB) Bryce and Eddie (Brother Duato) Scheer are joined by a rotating collective of seasoned session musicians with the goals of indulgence and having as much fun as possible with the creative process. ... more

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